I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
