it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
