I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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