I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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