i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
wow bdsm is so cute
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
