i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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