How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I intend to get homeless drunk
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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