watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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