I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
