Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
