I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
