Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize