So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
