Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize