My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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