new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
