He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
soo... how was my night?
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