There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
