How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
