tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize