I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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