I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Please, let me fuck your mom
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My ass is underappreciated
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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