He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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