I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize