I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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