fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
