remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Randomize
