I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Mom said you looked used
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
