wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
