It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
