Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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