So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
