Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sarcasm needs its own font
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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