just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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