I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
