He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
