I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
