when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
