I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
