I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
