i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize