Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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