ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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