The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
