I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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