three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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