ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
