Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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