My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
