Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
