You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
