Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
