Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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