I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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