She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
