I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You smell like stripper and shame
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Are my feet made of real feet?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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