How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
