My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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