Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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