he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
