She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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